∇

2010-08-12T02:46:00.002+08:00

So i'm moving , technologically-speaking. I just don't have the right name just yet. As much as I want to move away from the whole pretty words with horrible tragic meanings thing.. I think i'll just succumb to it again. Wither's my favourite word in the whole English language but I think it'd be really easy to find me because if I just use a variation of the word.. And I'm a HTML noob so good luck to me. Well, cheers

2010-08-10T00:21:00.003+08:00

So after criticizing (sp?) the quality of topshop makeup.. I got more of it? Ha. I'm such a stupid bimbo sometimes getting lured by pretty packaging..but it's so pretty!!! I got home before 12 today after X number of days, feels good. And I'm starting to get my pre-camp pale sickly sullen skin again given my day starts at 5pm when the sun is setting. I am horribly scared of starting school because my memory is being a bitch. I had a perfectly clear idea of EXACTLY what I was to type in this space, really - in a point by point manner but everything just dissipated.. that is scary considering I could remember my Economics notes like a motherfucking badass. So everything I write now is a meshwork of scattered incoherent thoughts. Aight gonna play Cleveland is the Reason, get myself a cuppa and chill the night away~

2010-08-09T03:17:00.000+08:00

I had an awesome weekend - without wearing any makeup. Yup it can be done

2010-08-02T15:17:00.001+08:00

Meow ~

2010-07-28T11:46:00.001+08:00

Emma Watson looks like a Goddess in this video, and the video makes more sense when you watch it twice

2010-07-25T18:56:00.000+08:00

My mum's facebook status :

My son lost his pencil case AGAIN! My older girl sneaked out of camp cos she missed her TV and my younger girl is convinced she can pass her Os just by THINKING about it! The joys of motherhood ...

2010-07-18T17:45:00.005+08:00

"failed night" is a folder comprising merely 10 pictures, and if I must say is a rather accurate depiction of what last night was having to end everything by 230. I think we should stick to having dinners at Siglap if this were to repeat itself. We should all give Taralyn and Kevin a trophy for not having killed the rest of us. K im off for 5 days see ya

2010-07-15T11:06:00.002+08:00

So half the teenage-girl population beat me to the black liners from Topshop and the make-up rack was barren when i went so i only managed to get the last black mascara zzzz. Im stuffing my face with fried stuff and watching the Big Bang Theory when I should really be out jogging around the estate or something more physically engaging than this. And I have half the mind to skip Wednesday next week and come back on Thursday because all the forces of nature are working against me because the people I love can party that night. But I wont and I hope people dont laugh at me because Im going to bring a bag with wheels to camp

2010-07-11T12:20:00.004+08:00

So I changed out of the dress after 3 hours? I went around ,found a pair of shorts and Nat told me to bring a top for her so I wore that instead. Aha. Thrilled that I got myself Jade Is The New Black and I need to pat myself on the back for spending less than 50..or 60 yesterday. I'm reading possibly the most boring and complicated book by Austen (Emma) but I've started it so I can't stop until I finish it and I've been on it for months. And I'm frustrated because I'm just on Emma because I cannot find anything else compelling enough to read. Time to bring out the Game Boy..

2010-07-10T10:06:00.002+08:00

It'd be nice if you come with iced coffee because all 4 of us are exhausted... from doing nothing. See ya'll!

2010-07-08T12:20:00.000+08:00

California Gurls (MSTRKRFT REMIX)

2010-07-07T16:31:00.003+08:00

I should be sorting out my stuff for the flea but instead Im having Nutella and reading about revolutionary massacres on wikipedia. Im in a somber mood and I dont know why. Must be because the curtains are drawn. And thoughts of how my precious holidays are about to end marking its looming entry with a 5-day camp :o Half the clothes im bringing are all borrowed from my friends because I dont have anything camp-appropriate, I am not engineered to go for camps but I am a trooper and I'll do it. Aight gonna make myself a cup of iced milo and read and hopefully get started on sorting my shit out

2010-07-06T13:01:00.004+08:00

Digitalism was meh. No Pogo no talk. Maybe there was Pogo but we probably went missing. How dissapointing. And should have seasoned my Steve's before letting them go out to play because I could hear my feet throbbing all the way up to my head.

I'd love to stay at home tonight in the midst of a fortress made of pillows and finish up Perks of being a wallflower (before I mentally suffocate the daylight out of the protagonist) or most probably be called out to have one of our impromptu dinners together we have 3 nights a week but insist we meet next week going "Imya x1000 bbg" and girly shit like that...but ive got work...................

2010-07-02T20:37:00.002+08:00

(via fb)

ahah kevin's so cute

2010-07-01T02:08:00.004+08:00

Today was spontaneous and simple. And I like it. What started out as a "I've got a craving for Udders" turned into getting shoved into Kevin's car, driven off to some chinese restaurant because Nathalie does not consider my race, back to Udders to find it packed, then to Ice Cream Chefs which was also packed so I just rushed in to get the best motherfucking ice cream i've ever had, then settling at the park everyone used to play cards and smoke (underage of course) at. And yup we ended up playing cards and listening to music at SiGlaP~~

Quite parallels a typical day after school , only with less travel time. Ha one time (Joel and Hakim remember this but act super cool and put me down whenever I remind them about this but it was them that told me about this) on the very first day of our last year, Nathalie and I made plans to meet them at the "back bus stop" and go for lunch, and we so happened to see them across the road and started to wave. Only wave. But we got a half an hour lecture by a teacher at the bus stop for our supposed boisterous behaviour and made the two wait. Aha

2010-06-30T12:33:00.000+08:00

happy birthday hakim !

2010-06-29T02:13:00.002+08:00

all opposing camps of social networking should just stfu because without the likes of twitter and fb i think i'd have lost a place in school , missed application deadlines, be completely unaware of the whole darn matriculation (haha i chuckle to myself because matriculation like metric-ulation..) process. ty technology +1 for you

i think im a complete mess now. feels good sourcing out for help myself though i feel so proud of myself. and this is totally off-course but i haven't held someone's hand for a pretty substantial amount of time. i really dont know how i feel about that. i think i just dont want to admit it to myself diu diu diu this is your baptism diu diu diu and you can't forgive them...

2010-06-28T12:17:00.002+08:00

Gonna go pack a backpack with a change of clothes and a water bottle because imma be blading with jen in a few. This is about the most physical action im going to get asides from shakin' my ass infront of a studio mirror. Here's to cutting down and a healthier lifestyle!

2010-06-27T04:17:00.000+08:00

2010-06-26T02:52:00.000+08:00

When the fighters are all around
All the lovers are underground

Lupe Fiasco, Fighters

2010-06-21T04:51:00.003+08:00

so i succumbed to picking up a murakami. i told myself not to.. like how i told myself not to read Prozac Nation, Virgin Suicides (that's exceptional it's kinda ranked like a 'modern classic' right) and the Twilight series im sorry. well i cannot undermine the appeal murakami has, or any asian writer azn pride! well maybe why i like asian writing is because i never had to scrutinise the work of an asian writer and dissect it brutally and dehumanise its worth like how we do in literature. oh literature how you taught me how to dehumanise humans, how to treat my emotions like they were tangible and disposable and how to simply get myself all fucked up. So back to murakami, I took out South of the something in the bus (Yep Im halfway through the book but I cant seem to memorise the title) and there i read about how Izumi was giving the protagonist a blowjob and hoping the boy beside me wasnt peering. like how I read Fanny hill on the train, never finished reading that cuz its literotica only played out in archaic english. if there weren't books, i wouldn't think as much and go about fucking shit up

2010-06-18T19:14:00.000+08:00

I just got a letter from the nus muslim society to attend a camp... i bet they'll hate me aha

2010-06-17T11:39:00.001+08:00

I love this it's so thug

2010-06-16T13:30:00.000+08:00

2010-06-16T03:40:00.000+08:00

"ah, the glorious world of self destruction. the wounds keep bleeding, and if they don’t, you’ll find a way to cut them open. feels good, doesn’t it? that’s what I thought, honey. Let him touch you. Let him get to that place. Let him destroy your soul bit by bit. He cuts you open, and you keep bleeding and bleeding ‘till nothing hurts anymore and you’re one numb animal. and you’re both animals. and it’s beautiful, but it’s not what you wanted. you wanted love, didn’t you? well, guess what. wrong place. this place isn’t for love."

2010-06-15T03:56:00.001+08:00

2010-06-08T02:05:00.002+08:00

I think it's happening to me. The point in your life where you have no control of what fate brings you. I have for the past few years managed to steer my way towards the things I wanted and have everything fit perfectly into the perfect mould I created in my mind. I never ever expected the current circumstances to unfold. But I've learnt to be extremely grateful and be kanchiong. I've got my back-up plan ready in case this country and its "systems" decides to pull the rug from under my feet , again. So I have secured myself the most conventional, typical and what they say the "right" side of education. So fucking what? It's the ballsy ones that break away from all this I'm such a pussy..........

2010-06-07T02:22:00.004+08:00

All from theselby

I'll definitely cohabit before marriage (yes i am a sucker for the whole get married have a family idea..) and live in an apartment of organised mess. Well I have to find someone who's organised because I'll definitely provide the mess. And we will have homecooked food every other night. And for some sick reason I hope he likes soccer because it just feels right that he's into soccer and glued to the couch watching soccer. And we will have quiet Saturday mornings with coffee ,toast and the papers and talk in Economical jargon or cuss about the government. Here's to hoping

2010-06-05T14:38:00.001+08:00

i'm a fucker upper-er

2010-06-02T17:47:00.001+08:00

2010-05-31T21:45:00.001+08:00

Hi BKK, I hope things tone down because Loretta and I would really like to visit you and get pretty cute cheap stuff, especially before the semester starts. Thx

2010-05-31T03:13:00.000+08:00

2010-05-30T12:24:00.000+08:00

i went to your old livejournal today, and for the record, he wasnt/isnt "a really great guy", you are.

-From Loretta's twitter

2010-05-27T11:38:00.003+08:00

2010-05-26T14:51:00.001+08:00

Im going to do this, so adventurous of me!

2010-05-23T10:13:00.001+08:00

Read like a hipster :

A BIT EMO - I FEEL FEELINGS!

David Sedaris
Jonathon Safran Foer
J.D. Salinger
Jeffrey Eugenides

DEPRESSING and INTELLECTUAL

David Foster Wallace
Philip Roth
David Eggers
Haruki Murakami
Sylvia Plath

More here

2010-05-23T10:00:00.002+08:00

These are the girls that made me cry when I was 14 Aha

2010-05-19T01:44:00.001+08:00

whenever i pick up a pen to write (anything), I feel like stabbing myself with it
-

THIS MADE MY NIGHT

2010-05-18T01:48:00.000+08:00

2010-05-17T13:18:00.000+08:00

Me + Wedges < KB + Flats

2010-05-15T11:42:00.000+08:00

My twin

2010-05-14T00:59:00.000+08:00

Whoa

2010-05-13T17:07:00.001+08:00

I miss learning. Not to be confused with school.

2010-05-13T04:47:00.002+08:00

Time : 447am

So today I woke up with a little too much phlegm (as a kid I thought it was spelt 'flem') in my system. And now I have a killer sore throat because I 'de-medicated' it. And I have a sore-eye. Never in my life have I ever had a sore-eye... I have realised how dependant I am on my bb which is so sad eh because im no big businesswoman who needs to her schedules in tact. I listen to Soft Rock Star too much but I can never remember the lyrics, it goes something like this Climb the walls to make the sunrise in time but the night already begun? I'm really hungry now like Im feeling for meat. I wished I liked vegetables I would totally eat fancy salads and chew on a cucumber but.. I dont eat vegetables. At all. And I hateee that I just cant seem to eat vegetables. You should see my face when I accidentally eat one I look like a mix of nausea and violation. I feel like dangling my legs out of the window and have one right now but that's too much work. I wished everything would sort itself but it wont. I wished I could have everything like I wanted it to be but I dont know what I want it to be. I know I kinda want sushi I haven't had sushi in the longest time mm unagi sounds pretty good right about now. And I want to lie down on the bed and not make out and just watch tv and fall asleep but that's all tainted now. I want a kitten. A black kitten and I shall name it Dimitri. I wanna name my son Aidan or Adam or Danial. And my daughter Sofia or Anna. I want something so bad right now but I dont know what it is

2010-05-10T13:40:00.000+08:00

2010-05-10T03:25:00.001+08:00

i'm a goldfish

2010-05-07T10:05:00.004+08:00

2010-05-07T10:05:00.001+08:00

Only traces of me..

2010-05-04T13:21:00.005+08:00

I think my atuk knew he was going to go to a better place. The week before his death (May 1 2010) he wanted to have a tour of the house, and I woke up seeing him at the door of my room in his wheelchair and I think flabbergasted at how I sleep in so late. He went to the living room to use the new Osim massage chair we bought and fall asleep with the Berita Harian on his chair. The cutest thing was how he wanted to be out , even if there was a thunderstorm, and be pushed around in his wheelchair to take in the elements as they come.

My grandfather was a hard worker and an extremely intelligent man. His father wanted to give him his cleaning company to continue, but he wanted to pursue his studies. And he pressed on and became a teacher. And to me, I think he is the reason why there is so much emphasis on getting a good proper education in the family. He put my mum and aunt in a mission school at a time where the Malay community shunned the idea, to ensure they got a decent English education. He was a soccer coach with many certificates to prove, and he was a gymnast when he was younger. That's why my grandmother watches sports everytime. And my mum would follow my atuk to his soccer trainings..because he actually coached my dad. And he's the only one in the family who could actually do Math. And I think that gene decided not to be passed down looking at all of us in the family now. He spoke in proper English to me all the time, hence my very weak grasp of Malay. I remeber, he tried to tutor me in A Math in secondary school but gave up on me when I kept dozing off but I managed to get a B3 atuk!

He was a generous and selfless man. In his retirement, he gave tuition for free to the less well-to-do children. He spent his time giving lessons for free at a mosque nearby.

My grandfather believed in constant upgrading and learning. He went for IT classes and right before he died, he actually asked for a laptop but he never got to use it.. He was the one that converted all our home videos into home dvds (how does one do that!) and he chronologically compiled albums. He tediously seived through all our pictures and he compiled an album of me growing up, arranging the photos by my age. Whilst he was silent and strict, his obssession with documenting our lives shows very much how he truly loved us. Well his knack for organisation hasn't rubbed off on me, but I'll start.

When my grandfather heard of my results, he couldn't stop crying. When my grandmother asked why he was crying, he said he was overjoyed.. another one in a university! Because of what he was suffering from, he couldn't control his emotions so they come as they come. To make a man as great as him happy feels..awesome.

Atuk you're in a better place now. Where you can walk again! And run and do backflips and cartwheels like you did when you were younger. I love you

2010-05-02T23:53:00.002+08:00

You happy now?

Always playing the innocent card. You paint a horrible picture of me to make yourself less of a monster that you are. That's what you do. Whenever I hurt you, you make sure you make it known what kind of a bitch I am. I haven't told anyone what happened, not even my girlfriends because honestly I don't see the need.

Seriously irsyad, if I told people about what you did, this "game" we're playing, it'll take a major turn around

2010-05-01T12:31:00.000+08:00

2010-04-28T12:01:00.003+08:00

anyways to all the haters, i got AAB/A for my A's so im not dumb (academically). honestly people with the time to flame, have very sad boring lives that they feel compelled to make the effort to do shit like this, so go smoke yourself

2010-04-28T02:26:00.002+08:00

The time is 2:27 am

2010-04-24T12:16:00.001+08:00

MY FAVOURITE EVER

2010-04-22T02:53:00.003+08:00

just deleted my facebook

2010-04-19T13:23:00.000+08:00

2010-04-16T01:49:00.002+08:00

if you want to love me, you'll have to love even the shittiest thing about me. like how i've a slight gap tooth and how my bottom teeth are crooked. how i say fuck all the time. how i go to the toilet all-the-time. how i need my vices. how i'd rather cuddle. how i have black eyes and an even blacker heart. how i can never open up entirely. and how i just want you to love me for me period

2010-04-12T12:44:00.001+08:00

Bold what you are/ what you think you are

I am: Happy. Sad. A good friend. Adventurous. Shy. Confident. A male. Bored. Anxious. Clumsy. Sociable. Always punctual. Selfish. Intelligent. A female. Sarcastic. Insecure. Beautiful. Articulate. Loud. Kind. Even tempered. Honest. Short. Tall. Medium height. Proud of myself. Loving. Witty. Down to earth. Outspoken. Determined. High maintenance. Pretty. Assertive. Organized. Selfless.

I have: Brown hair. Blue eyes. Pale skin. Brown eyes. Curly hair. Long Fingernails. Curves. Braces. Chipped nail polish. Long legs. Straight hair. A fringe. Long eyelashes. Sore feet. Dark skin. Green eyes. Blonde hair. Dyed hair. Red hair. Short legs. Rosy cheeks. Wavy hair. Black hair. A small waist. Piercings. Tattoos. Big ears. Short hair.

I love: Babies. Flowers. Kisses. Summer. Coffee. Late night talk shows. Insects. The rain. Candles. Incense. Hugs. Attention. The beach. Chocolate. Music. Hats. Harry Potter. Twilight. Facebook. Black and white photos. Sleeping in. Driving. Narrating my pet’s thoughts. Opening gifts. Buying gifts. Halloween. Cute texts. Apples. Compliments. Country music. Hip hop. Sushi. Sports. Art. Singing. Seeing my loved ones happy. Surprises. Sunsets and sunrises. Skinny dipping. Horror movies. Simon Cowell. Family Guy. Garlic. Hearing somebody talk in their sleep. Being right. KFC. Abstract photography. Concerts and festivals. Tanning. Oversized t-shirts.

I like to eat: Fruit. Vegetables. Fast food. Sushi. In bed. Rice. Sandwiches. Subway. Chicken. Cakes. Seafood. Pasta. Rice crackers. Cheese. Ice cream. Garlic bread. Peanut butter out of the jar. Eggs. Lots of ethnic foods. Pancakes. Honey. Lunch. Bread crusts. Low calorie foods. Soy products. Gluten free products. Toast. Breakfast. Pizza.

I dislike: Cold mornings. Baths. People dissing my taste in music. People in front of me walking really slowly. Having my personal space invaded. Cleaning. Going to bed early. Wine/beer. Religion arguments. Coffee. The beach. Rain. Children. Having my photo taken. Drama. Gossiping. Hip hop. Cooking shows. Drugs. Cats. People singing happy birthday to me. School. Selfish people. Social networking sites. Swimming. Snow. Eminem. Seafood. One word text messages. Awkward silences. Alarm clocks.

2010-04-08T02:22:00.002+08:00

http://www.formspring.me/witherhere

2010-04-07T16:32:00.001+08:00

Hi pls accept me ................................

2010-04-04T18:40:00.003+08:00

I don't know whats your type. Maybe you thought i was your "type" but oh clearly not. I don't know how long it's been (because I don't believe in monthsaries or anniversaries because ive got a bad memory, to each his own) but it feels long enough for you to deduce that I'm not good for you. And you're not good for me. But sometimes you're perfect for me, I don't know what you feel about me lah but sometimes I think I'm awesome enough for you. I don't think mums would like me much because all I can do is bake cupcakes and I dress funny and I'm quiet around people I don't know, I'm bookish but I've zero street smarts and I can't speak my mother tongue well but I know you'd like me even if I wasn't the most homeliest girl around. Or so I think. I hate people that preach so don't preach to me about what sort of girl I "should" be. So my heart and lungs are black or I like dialing you up when I get tips but I just need someone there to tell me I'm not alone and not put down the phone even if I'm calling you ten times at 5am. It's the most fucked up loneliest feeling in the world. It dont mean shit to me if the whole world judges me if I've got you so why'd you have to switch sides now?

2010-04-03T11:45:00.000+08:00

Don't go, I'll eat you up I love you so

2010-03-31T11:46:00.003+08:00

We're not good for each other half the time - I love it

2010-03-30T11:02:00.002+08:00

I finally feel a decent sense of accomplishment. Lugging my father's laptop out to finish out the application was a good plan even if I had to sit infront a huge laptop with a picture of a racecar on the cover. Just kicked in to me yesterday how I haven't written in ages except angsty teenage rants in my diary about love and shit like that and how I wished my ass was perkier. Now it's onto Plan-Get-Intellectually-Active again. Because now I'm only competent enough to give social commentaries on the pressing issues that Hollywood faces

2010-03-28T12:25:00.002+08:00

My recess buddy

2010-03-24T15:35:00.003+08:00

0.0

Hi everyone,
Is it still called nostalgia if there's a slight element of anxiety and anger in it? I miss my old house so bad now (after Sarah told me about how Razif felt about shifting out). So what if there were no amenities eg. a mall bubble tea, nearby or that there are only 2 bus services and that the steps in my house were so steep or how I'd never go upstairs to get a drink at night because it gets eerie. It beats this place where the pool looks like a community pool and the security guards look like pervs and it annoys me that the architecture of this place forces you to hide at a small corner in your room to avoid the neighbours seeing you naked

And i quite miss you, but you're being a pain in the butt. Why is it that you have all the time to text me and expect two minute in between replies while youre in camp. I feel suffocated and I constantly find myself wanting to burn something (pun)

2010-03-21T01:32:00.003+08:00

As of late, I have had to make crucial decisions. Like what I'd like to do with my life because this is the supposed make-it-or-break-it point (a highly arguable and relative concept, just made convincing by the govt..) And I've had to choose the colour of my highlights and now I must parade around looking like my brother painted my hair. And I'm currently deciding what O.P.I nail polish I should get. Am subconciously overlooking the ones with boring names. I'm liking "I'm a Pisa Work" and "Mad as a Hatter"

This is my life now , frivolous decisions and minimal intellectual activity (minimal not inactive, I think)

2010-03-17T01:10:00.000+08:00

2010-03-15T15:08:00.000+08:00

Here is your Today's Gemini Horoscope
It's too easy to be penny-wise and pound-foolish today, so try to look at factors beyond price when making purchasing decisions. You're sure to find a better deal in something that lasts.

I just bought a $40 bag..

2010-03-10T10:36:00.002+08:00

Picture credits : Kathy Anne Lim

We should have dinner parties like this. With awesome food (the likes of Sheperd's pie, Lamb with honey mustard and "Japanese" Chicken), ice cream floats and feeble attempts to try and "Prep" (that being the supposed theme of the whole thing) the whole event up. The whole thing imitated a typical recess actually, where we just sit and talk and laugh our food out. Recollecting bitchfighs and slaps, a teacher making us catwalk down the classroom as punishment haha being around the same people for 10 years isn't as dull as you think

2010-03-06T13:31:00.001+08:00

Stephane: Hi, and welcome back to another episode of Television Educative. Tonight, I will show you how dreams are prepared. People think it’s a very simple and easy process, but it’s a bit more complicated than that. As you can see, a very delicious combination of complex ingredients is the key. First, we put in some random thoughts. And then we add a little bit of reminiscences of the day, mixed with some memories in the past. Love, friendship, relationships, and all those “ships” together with songs you heard during the day, things you saw, and also personal.

2010-03-05T18:55:00.001+08:00

WAH FIERCE. University applications start today.. Im gonna pull a typical Singaporean and go apply now. After I figure out how to do all this uni shit, Syad and I are completely clueless

2010-03-05T00:44:00.000+08:00

2010-03-04T14:02:00.001+08:00

2010-03-04T02:38:00.002+08:00

My mum's facebook status :
Marking her papers with hugs and kisses. XOXOXO ... X (wrong answer) O (0 marks).

2010-03-01T13:42:00.001+08:00

2010-02-27T13:21:00.001+08:00

A moment, a love A dream aloud A kiss, a cry Our rights, our wrongs

2010-02-25T13:10:00.002+08:00

I have a very bad craving for a specific style of char kway teow , and I can never find the means of getting it because my favourite stall closed down. I can feel my insides being clawed at this very instant. Am this close to writing to that Makan Lost and Found show on tv

2010-02-23T14:10:00.000+08:00

2010-02-18T11:59:00.004+08:00

Are you psyched for Alice in Wonderland? I am. I loved it as a kid. It was so warped. Like.. beautifully fucked up you know? If you've read Alice in Wonderland and loved it, i think you'd either be a manic cynic or obsessed with glitter or a manic cynic who is obsesed with glitter. I like reads like that, seemingly innocent with a moral to tell but truly screwed up. Like the real Little Mermaid before the Disney facade ( but i still love Disney ). Whilst she exchanged her voice for human legs, the steps she takes would feel like walking on shards of glass. And because she is mute, the prince will never know that it was truly her that saved him and marries a princess, and then she dies. And we all think our relationships are messed up. Wonder how we'd all have turned out if we were told these versions as kids..well I was, and look at how I turned out hahaha

2010-02-17T13:49:00.001+08:00

I don't know what the fuck I'm doing

2010-02-14T13:47:00.002+08:00

2010-02-14T13:20:00.000+08:00

fuck

2010-02-12T11:01:00.000+08:00

I'm better off without you

2010-02-08T15:46:00.002+08:00

Today I feel lonelier than lonely

2010-02-08T15:11:00.000+08:00

2010-02-04T13:04:00.000+08:00

2010-02-02T12:14:00.004+08:00

Now that my source of income is off at camp, I need to find ways to cut corners and save up. Like stuff my face at home and just suck on mints when I'm out. I think I am going to learn how to cook. Would you rather know how to bake or cook ? I can do the former but really , I'd rather do the latter. I wonder who'd marry me if I couldn't cook. If I was a dude, I'd be hell yeah my wife needs to know how to cook. A way to a guy's heart is his stomach right, yeah me too

And my life is no longer that much of a mangled mess now that I have an organiser. Now I just need to invest in some coloured pens from Muji and liquid paper. I was never this anal-retentive until I met my friends. Like Nathalie who uses liquid paper for Suduko, Lorry and Tara who think they're really messy until they see how I colour code my notes, and a boyfriend who has a file for each topic of each subject and has better handwriting than I do. Yep..

2010-02-01T23:37:00.001+08:00

stay safe. I love you

2010-01-28T23:23:00.000+08:00

2010-01-27T10:07:00.001+08:00

I love people. Everybody. I love them, I think, as a stamp collector loves his collection. Every story, every incident, every bit of conversation is raw material for me. My love’s not impersonal yet not wholly subjective either. I would like to be everyone, a cripple, a dying man, a whore, and then come back to write about my thoughts, my emotions, as that person. But I am not omniscient. I have to live my life, and it is the only one I’ll ever have. And you cannot regard your own life with objective curiosity all the time …
— The Journals of Sylvia Plath

2010-01-26T13:23:00.000+08:00

2010-01-26T13:22:00.001+08:00

I am the biggest fool for the whole follow-my-heart-and-not-my-head shananigan. What the fuck man

2010-01-21T13:05:00.001+08:00

Imagine the emotion she's feeling, so pure

2010-01-19T11:59:00.002+08:00

Slowly, things are becoming what they used to be. It looks bad but it feels good. I don't know why I have this manic obsession to go back to what it was. Do we all? Maybe I do these things to prove a point, to show you who's boss and the only boss of me is me. I don't like the feeling of being subservient. Im not clay you can mould, I am not malleable in any sense. You shouldn't go into something with someone and hope to change them, to fit your ideals and benchmarks. That is selfish. You can hope for change but you should broaden your outlook too. In retrospect, we're still two seperate individuals trying to negotiate and compromise.. and I'm sick of it.

You know when a cigarette burns till it reaches the filter? You've enjoyed it, whether it's been insanely deadly to you and now it's all over. This feels like that

2010-01-18T13:14:00.000+08:00

2010-01-18T02:31:00.003+08:00

In my little world, everyone will get along. We move past from mistakes, past tribulations and negative feelings. There won't be incessant phone calls, screaming and pain. We will all get along and help each other.

Call it delusion. I am extremely optimistic while you are the complete opposite. It can happen and work, just let me

2010-01-12T00:31:00.001+08:00

A heartbreaker right from the start

2010-01-10T20:12:00.002+08:00

I have all the freedom in the world right now. My parents tell me to max out the time I have now because when a new school semester starts, I will have 0 freedom. Nil . But I feel so constricted, confined and I'm scared this will take over me.

2010-01-07T13:57:00.000+08:00

'A strange equation, and an altogether too-common belief: One's worth is exponentially increased with one's incremental disappearance. '