I wonder how this can ever work out, now or ever

Imagine this, my friend asks me out to study and I have to get back 2 hours later because we get into a fight. Because I have to spend every waking minute/hour/day with him. Because he has to put some chastity belt on me to make sure I don't go footloose on any other person not from the female species. He has this mental image seared into him that when we're not together, I'm pouncing on another guy. And the irony is , my friend is my best friend who is female. (Im not allowed to have close friends, wait or friends, who are males because he's medieval like that unless he knows them personally, apart from that they are either trying to get in my pants and hence are my friends) The only friends I have are : Loretta, Taralyn (O yeah I couldn't go to her place either), Lisa , Kathleen , Gayathri , Kaiboon. They are all female

Why do you have to attach an emotional agenda to everything I say. Why do you expect me to be fine with you after you talk me down and suppose the day goes fine because you want it to. You're not fucking Tzar or anything you don't talk to me like that

You'll never change and I'm convinced on that, nothing's going to ever change, even when you say it so convincingly straight into my eyes that kinda shit, you're never ever gonna change. You are going to be insecure as ever. You are going to have your crazy fits of anger. Whenever you get angry at me, I just look at the evidence and get myself more angry to meet up your standards. Because to you, optimism can never thrive. You'll never be that boyfriend who would let me go out with my girlfriends because I just want to, you'll be crazy control freak boyfriend who wants all the attention on him, expecting it so readily even when you talk me down or belittle me or morally judge me. And you know how much I hate moral judgement. I wanna go home by myself because I feel bad for you , you get angry. I wanna go home by myself because I just wanna sit on the bus listen to music and relinquish in the very little moments I have by myself now. Even when you say sorry, you imply that there's something more I should do. Surprisingly, you make me realise that maybe women are better off without men, maybe we should all just have IVF babies now as a means for procreation to ensure that the extinction of our species does not arrive. Why do you have to throw my phone around , my pretty pink phone I waited a month to arrive (but now everyone has it). When my friends ask aw what happened to your phone, I just say oh it's spoilt sad ah. BUT WHATEVER IM FUCKING ANGRY NOW why'd you have to throw my phone like that I only know that phone and the blackberry exists because im so fucking n00b with phones but you had to throw it on the ground and chip the side and now the screen's all black. If I didn't love you I'd hate you so why do I still love you. Im so fucking upset with myself because I'm still strung on you even if you're such a monster why the fuck do I still love you when you scream at me in public , when you __________ me , when you grab my phone and wallet so I wouldnt rush into a cab away from you. Why am I scared of you when I love you why the fuck do I feel like i need bodyguards around me when you get angry. Fuck why am I blaming myself now when I know it should be your fault. Fuck