Slowly, things are becoming what they used to be. It looks bad but it feels good. I don't know why I have this manic obsession to go back to what it was. Do we all? Maybe I do these things to prove a point, to show you who's boss and the only boss of me is me. I don't like the feeling of being subservient. Im not clay you can mould, I am not malleable in any sense. You shouldn't go into something with someone and hope to change them, to fit your ideals and benchmarks. That is selfish. You can hope for change but you should broaden your outlook too. In retrospect, we're still two seperate individuals trying to negotiate and compromise.. and I'm sick of it.

You know when a cigarette burns till it reaches the filter? You've enjoyed it, whether it's been insanely deadly to you and now it's all over. This feels like that